Often times lately I find myself out of myself looking in a window that use to be my life wondering where is she. I watch glimpses of an old smile I use to know that not only warmed my heart but the hearts of so many others, and I say to myself what happened? I have come to the conclusion that life happened and I didn't even know it nor was I prepared,...prepared for the shift I mean, the shift that took place right smack dab in the middle, literally in my mid thirties, Some may call it a mid life crises but I call it a little bit of everything, and on top of it I had a baby. As I look through the window of the life I use to know I began to see pieces unraveling even when I thought things were A-ok, that's because I was so busy caught up in day to day life as a wife, mother, friend, confidant, and whatever else, I began to loose me while thinking all of those hats that I wore was me. You see if you don't do detailed maintenance on yourself just like your car or anything else that require it you will start to fall apart! I even noticed somewhere in there I even stopped praying as much as I use to, and thats a sure nuff road to self destruction, I started giving more my time and attention to one thing or two more than the other where their really was no relevance, and now with the baby I had no energy anymore only to pick up toys change diapers, clean up spit up and clean the house in as much time as I had in between cooking, feeding, loving and chasing a baby with three other kids and everything else. So again I looked and said where is she? and the answer was still she is ME! I just needed to prioritize and rearrange my life and this time I know I needed to be at the top of the list under God of course, I quickly realized that sometimes things fall apart to get put back together in the right order more stronger and definite than before with a much more stronger foundation. So I will keep you guys posted on my new journey to finding me!
